Jennifer Walters, Rules Lawyer

Members of the jury, I am here today to clear the name of one Jennifer Walters; a hero in this game who has been given unfairly harsh treatment by our society. One of the first heroes ever released, people tend to look down on her because of some really weak cards (particularly Ground Stomp and Legal Practice), low hand size in hero form, and a somewhat awkward thwarting situation (though honestly her thwarting is actually quite good by Core Set standards). The prosecution has gone as far as to call her “bottom tier” and compare her to her no-good cousin, an absolutely outrageous claim.

But now, with the latest iteration of the Rules Reference Guide (RRG 1.5), we might be able to save poor Jennifer's reputation with a bit of rules lawyering. Let us look at the card Superhuman Strength. Historically it's a somewhat awkward stun card; you use it once and then it goes away due to its Forced Response. But imagine if you could keep it perpetually. That's a +2 ATK upgrade, and you have two copies that can stack, potentially bringing your ATK value to 7, permanently. Is such a thing possible? Well, in the past the answer was no, but let us look now at what the new version of the RRG has to say about Forced effects. Forced; article 1: “If a forced ability requires one or more targets to resolve and it has no valid targets, it does not initiate.” Furthermore, in subsection A: “Any costs that would have been paid to initiate the ability are not paid.” The cost in question: discarding Superhuman Strength. So now we can keep the card in play provided we don't have a valid target for its effect.

Now, how can we go about making sure our targets are deemed invalid? There are a few ways. The easiest is to make sure the target is gone. You cannot stun a minion that no longer exists, and there are few minions that will survive a 7 damage swing. You can also go after a Stalwart target; the likes of Thanos and Master Mold are easy pickings, and depending on the weather it can be anyone. And then, finally, the third way is what this deck is built around: you cannot stun an enemy that is already stunned.

So, our goals are simple: keep the villain stunned. Tackle, Iron Fist, and Mockingbird all provide the usual stunlock package. And since we're She-Hulk, we can also supplement that by flipping to Alter-Ego as often as we can afford to, keeping the villain stunned for even longer. If the villain is stunned, we have 7 ATK and four different flavors of readying; they will not survive long. If the villain can't be stunned, because they're Stalwart? We have 7 ATK and four different flavors of readying, they will not survive long. If the villain is Steady? ...Okay, fine, then we have some problems. But we do have enough stun cards that we'll still be able to do some big damage if we prepare for it. Professor X makes it easier for us to flip, provides a valuable burst of 3 threat removal, and once in a while he can even stun a minion if they can somehow survive your absurd level of offense. We also have Iceman as an additional source of minion stun.

Some people see rules as restrictions. A list of things you're not allowed to do. But to a lawyer of Jennifer Walters's caliber, rules are putty to be molded however you please. It feels almost like cheating, being able to hit twice as hard as the Hulk with this much consistency. But it's not cheating at all; just pure rules lawyering.