My name is Balls. Gold Balls.

Card draw simulator

Odds: 0% – 0% – 0% more
Derived from
None. Self-made deck here.
Inspiration for
None yet

LACK OF SUBTLETY · 1930

An excerpt from Dr. No-Prize

Otto enters the bedroom of his suite overlooking the bustling city of Rio de Janeiro, it's night and is alive with the noise and light of Carnival. He needs only to retrieve the portable hard drive and return it to his villainous master to set in motion a cascade of terror in the city below that will further their agenda.

But the case holding the drive lies open and the drive itself is missing. He stops, sensing the presence in the room behind him. In the corner, sitting with his legs crossed casually a darkened figure eyes him coldly.

"I believe you are looking for this." Says the shadow, who with a flick of his finger turns on the desk lamp beside him bathing him in light. A wide frame sits heavy in the plush hotel chair, blue and orange highlight his form-fitting uniform and two transparent orange hemispheres cover his eyes which never waver from the henchman, like a predator stalking it's kill. They orange-tinted eyes leering over a smile that is full of both confidence and menace. The hard drive lies on the side table next to the chair.

"Who are you?" Otto asks foolishly.

"I am with SHIELD. My name is Balls...Gold Balls"

Otto is a man of action, he has no time left for these cat-and-mouse games, before the SHIELD agent in the chair can utter another word, his hand darts into his jacket for the machine pistol hidden in a shoulder holster. He draws it. He almost even raises it. He then hears the last sound he will ever hear...

"Poink!"

So my inspiration for this deck was legitimately as simple as "What if Goldballs was a SHIELD agent". However, this has turned into a petty good Aggression deck as well as being a Maria Hill deck that doesn't rely on supercarriers.

What do you want to do?

  1. Get out Field Agent cards and at least one of your allies, Goldballs, Wasp, and Dust all have particular effectiveness. Nick Fury is never bad either.

  2. put Sidearm and/or S.H.I.E.L.D. Sidearm on your allies. Another copy of S.H.I.E.L.D. Sidearm can go on Maria herself. Bambino is amazing on Dust allowing you to sweep the board of minions.

  3. Play Firepower while using your minions to attack and not take consequential damage thanks to your Field Agent cards. Wasp has amazing economy here, being able to be put in with a single resource (easily obtained from Support Staff), but pumping up her already excellent 3 damage with sidearms and not taking consequential damage.

  4. Play with your other toys. Ops Room allows Maria to defend more effectively while providing a bit of threat reduction. Face the Past, if played before Shadows/Pursued triggers, can get your 3 cards for minimal cost. Boot Camp further increases your allies damage. Have fun!

In solo, you really have to watch your threat, this deck is almost all offense and damage can sneak up on you as well, but in multiplayer, you hopefully have other players helping you with those issues while you pour on the damage.

As substitution you could make is to replace The Triskelion with The Circe. It would make getting your allies out easier but allow you less of them. It's big 6 cost would also cut into your early game setup of allies, upgrades and supports, but it's certainly not the worst approach either.

1 comments

Jul 03, 2025 marktry · 418

Love that Maria Hill can always field so many different teams. and it's always thematic.